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"Dating sites.. can be frustrating"
Dear Lynn,

I have been single for 13 yrs and about 20 mnths ago decided to try online dating. I joined several sites but have come across pretty much the same problems on all of them namely men who are impatient if you dont answer immediately, men who just disapear after a few email (and after dates too) and men who don't want to know if you dont drive (which I don't). What can I do shall I give up on the whoe idea?

Anon, 48yr old female - Posted: 31/10/2007
Lynn says.. Page: 1 . 2 . Next
Posted: 28/11/07 15:03 | Last edited: 20/11/07 14:12
Hello. There will be people on dating sites that will be very impatient but would you really want to date those types of men anyway? If you are too busy to reply to all the incoming messages, set your status to BUSY, and new people won't be able to start a chat with you, allowing you to concentrate on those chats you're already having and the people won't get frustrated at your slow replies. If you're a slow typer, or doing other things, just explain to them why you're taking your time.. (A side note for men here.. appreciate that women get many many chat requests compared to men.. it's the nature of dating.. just like in a nightclub so please be patient..)
As for the men that don’t like the fact you don’t drive, you should respect that, just as some of the men you speak to will have to respect that you too may have things that you don’t like about them, e.g. smoking, have more that 5 children etc. Some men don’t like the fact that they may have to do all the driving, but that doesn’t mean that’s the case for all men on dating sites. If they disappear after a few emails/dates, then it just wasn’t meant to be, just keep going, I’m sure your perfect date is out there somewhere. Good luck
Second Opinions..
THEPIRATE

Joined: 29th Apr '08
Posted: 29/04/08 23:18
If you meet someone in a pub/club you can tell a lot from body language , eye contact , just general attitude can say a thousand words .... the best thing in my opinion is to meet asap and get those indications ... because trying to convey those things by typing them on here after thinking carefully about what you put ..... can be very misleading , things we would say as a reaction to say ,,, a nice smile or look are lost.Thats a shame .
Whats the problem with meeting sooner ?? as long as its in a safe neutral place ? were humans .... we need this contact to make a decision .... why waste time ?
Cheers.
BILL1971


Joined: 20th Apr '08
Posted: 28/04/08 16:51
it works both ways i have tried talking to alot of women im not just going for pretty faces id much rather build up a network of female friends and see what happens then pursue just one stranger, but alot of the times they wont even respond to 'Hi' if your not going to respond to people then really you need to re-evaluate whether a dating site is the way for you to go, as for the driving issue thats niether here nor there as far as im concerned its hardly a indicator of the likelihood of a good relationship. i think it goes for both men and women on these sites if you contact someone or they contact you even if your not intrested say so atleast that way everyone knows where they stand dont just leave other people hanging in the wind
C-PRINCESS


Joined: 28th Feb '07
Posted: 04/02/08 12:10
I know exactly where you are coming from,in the past year of joining dating sites myself i have experienced this to,but i think these are the guys that just want abit of fun,you will know when you have spoken to someone , and is genuinely interested in you,as to weather you can drive or not this wont be an issue,and they wont disappear,as i have also experienced, but sadly these guys werent really for me,maybe the guys you have met,you havent been suited to each other.just hang in there,dont give up,i havent,lol.
BROGGIE


Joined: 15th Apr '02
Posted: 25/01/08 08:45 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
Men who dont want to know you if you dont drive...must be some strange blokes about that's all I can say


Ray.
WARREN63


Joined: 22nd Jul '06
Posted: 22/01/08 17:44 0 out of 2 people found this comment helpful.
dating sites ARE like the real world.....would you walk up to someone with no face and start chatting to them? i doubt it very much. so why do you ladies on here expect us mere men to start chatting to you if there is no photo? we men would NOT approach a lady anywhere unless we knew what they looked like. after all, its the basic attraction to attractive women that we all start from. so calling all ladies on this site, get it sorted and put a picture up, or are you hiding something? that seems to be what you ladies acuse us men of doing.
CANDYGIRL1


Joined: 19th Jan '08
Posted: 22/01/08 17:44 0 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
Is he still going on them coz he is a player or just trying to boost his ego by woman want to chat to. do i stay or run a mile
DREAMQUEST

Joined: 8th Apr '02
Posted: 15/12/07 23:50
I can concur with what BOLD-BITCH68 says but the other way around. I am 50+ and the one female I thought was Miss Right turned out to be in a very big hurry, but I wanted to be sure, hence it turned out that I was right.

Some of the women make it so hard to make that first contact by making it almost impossible to break the ice

Be patient, things will go right eventually but make sure you think it is right, not him.
SPARKY2

Joined: 26th Apr '02
Posted: 13/12/07 02:04
At the age of 46 you get lots of reply's turn 50 or over and it seems that no one wants to communicate.
Best of luck on here.
FOXYPHILL

Joined: 11th Dec '07
Posted: 11/12/07 22:02
well ive tryed alot on alot of things with no joy so its a ladys turn to as me.
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