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"He's only interested when I'm horny.."
Dear Lynn,

I'm with a guy 5 years older and lives ages away he's always working so the only time i get to talk to him is online, he only seems interested when I say im horny and thats when he wants to come see me he won't let me go and see him. I do trust him but sometimes I feel really jealous and can't help thinking he could be seeing another girl. I do want to trust him and recently has said he cant be in a relationship with someone who can't trust him. I do try and trust him but i dont know what to do i havent seen him in 2 months now and I really miss him he says he misses me to and watches me on cam he wants me to do things on cam as well which I'm not comortable with he always tries to make me feel guilt and say I'm your boyfriend you should feel secure about doing things.

 Anon, 18yr old female - Posted: 27/11/2007
Lynn says.. Page: 1
Posted: 25/02/08 10:05 | Last edited: 12/02/08 11:42
Hello So let me point out the facts given so far. 1. You are seeing a guy that lives miles away from you although you're not actually "seeing" him 2. You only talk to him online 3. He only seems interested in you when your horny 4. You have never been to his place 5. He accuses you of not trusting him 6. He says he misses you but hasn't made any effort to come and see you 7. He wants you to do things on a web cam that you don't feel comfortable with 8. He always tries to make you feel guilty. Honey, wake up and smell the beans What on earth are you actually getting out of this relationship? I think you need to trust your instinct here, it sounds as though this guy is married or indeed is in a relationship. You don't need me to point this out as you have said it in black and white yourself "HE ONLY SEEMS INTERESTED WHEN IM HORNY" Get the hell out of there fast, you can do so much better than this. Don't allow yourself be used by this person. Think about it, what do you really have to lose!!
Best of luck xx
Second Opinions..
THORSHAMMER


Joined: 24th Feb '08
Posted: 25/02/08 19:21
You will some day hate this man, then will laugh to yourself about him.

you cannot gain even 1 point against him.... he's won ! he's already pulled the wool over your eyes, and you fell for it.

now, if you've got any sense, you will realise that, without getting you fingers too burned , you have learned loads from this, and had a bit of fun. If you quit now, it's about as good as you're gonna get ....... and ........... you really can be proud of yourself for catching him out and dumping his sorry ass !

if you dump him, then no longer are you a doormat ! you now have the power do dump people who are unkind to you, or who jsut live too far away, or wahtever reason you choose ! Does'nt that feel great ? It is, so do it, and don't look back.

Thats a big step from being a dope, who believes anything that a pretty man says to her, so take the opportunity now, while you can. Its a normal part of growing up. If you dont liek teh deal youre getting - you dont have to stay !!!

if you leave it until he's with you, he will simply come up with a new tale, to put your mind at rest (or ellaborate on the old tales). But words are cheap, and you shouldnt trust him without absolute solid proof.

It's just whether you're ready to be a grown up (like the older girls who offer advice on this page), or if you want to stay as a girl, who can be easily tricked (and all the lads in ther area will want to know you, if you're easily tricked - but only on the same basis as this guy).

Would you like to take the advantage and break free, or stay there and hope you dont get clamidia or whatever's he's offering in exchange for all the undeserved trust you've been dishing out ?

Anyway, it's not the end of the world, is it ? Sounds like youre having fun. So dont change that .... just change him (for someone else) !

p.s. - don't EVER do things over the internet !!! You really dont know what he's doing with it. He could be selling you to dirty porn sites or anything.


C-PRINCESS


Joined: 28th Feb '07
Posted: 25/02/08 17:57
I have to agree with the above..really sorry to say and i dont mean to sound to harsh but this guy is just using you for his internet sexual pleasure,and by saying he is your"boyfriend" he is just sweet talking you into getting what he wants and as long as you are giving him what he wants he is just going to make you believe that the two of you are an iterm,of course you will wonder if there are other girls,to be honest,sorry for saying this also but it wouldnt surprise me if there was,and you are not the only one that he watches,there are plenty of guys out there who will be in a situation who will be able to spend good quality time with you in person,and like what Bracken has mentioned,dont loose your self respect over a guy like this. x
BLOO64

Joined: 13th Feb '08
Posted: 25/02/08 15:15
You are very young and really need time to assess this situation,but seriously,there isn't alot to assess sweetheart.It seems as though he is keeping something from you possibly as Lynn said,he is married or has a girlfriend.At 18 you shouldn't be thinking about settling down but even so,you can do without men who mess you around emotionally and those who are after just one thing.I know that there are alot of decent lovely guys out there,the thing is there are always alot of bad ones too.You need to think about yourself more and always put yourself first,because believe me,nobody else will.
BRACKEN


Joined: 18th Jan '08
Posted: 25/02/08 12:39
With regard to the bloke...you have nothing to loose...so get rid...NOW...if you dont you have the biggest thing in your life to loose...YOUR SELF RESPECT....
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