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I'm 30 and still a virgin

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"I'm 30 and still a virgin"
Dear Lynn,

Why do I find it so hard to find a girlfriend, im a 30 year old attractive male whose still a virgin, there's nothing actually wrong with me and I could have had my share of bed partners, but I've always held out for someone I actually like but never found. I beginning to think its never going to happen at this rate

Anon, 30yr old male - Posted: 10/09/2007
Lynn says.. Page: 1 . 2 . 3 . Next
Posted: 12/09/07 10:06
Hello, I really do think you have set your expectations too high, and are looking into relationships the wrong way. It’s great that you are looking for the ‘One’ but let’s face it, it’s rare that we do find our perfect match straight away. I think you should drop your guards and go out there and have some fun, and be meeting women for dates and making new friends, as how else do we learn about life and social skills if we just wait for the right person to come along. Go out there not expecting anything and before you know it things will happen trust me. Stay safe and Good Luck doing so!
Second Opinions..
RZA

Joined: 22nd Dec '07
Posted: 22/12/07 15:32
Well... having read some of the comments I have to disagree with some of them. I am 25 and still is a virgin... not by choice. I hear a lot of people saying 'they knows someone who went to a hooker/parlour for their first time'. Well thats not the point is it.... I think going to a hooker is almost as bad as being a virgin.. who want s to brag about it? I have my own problems.... I have spent too much time playing my PS2 when I sould be going out. I used to tell lies about being busy when people asked me if I was coming out on a friday night. Simply because I didn't have the confident. But now I am realising my mistakes but lost all my chances of meeting new people. Some people say the answer is simple "do something about it".... but what???
HETH


Joined: 16th Aug '07
Posted: 10/12/07 22:46
i am older and single yet again in life, so what, i have had a good and bad times in my life and probably more to come , get with the program babe, life will not be around for you forever and neither will your sex drive once you get it, so get on with it and have some fun, it's not about you finding the right one, the right one will find you.....good luck...xxx
EDDIEB1


Joined: 3rd Nov '07
Posted: 17/11/07 15:02
TO KINZEUK - WHEN I WROTE MY REMARKS , I DID NOT REALISE THAT THERE WAS A SECOND PAGE OF OPINIONS , IF I HAD KNOWN , THEN YOUR NAME AND A FEW OTHERS WOULD HAVE BEEN ADDED TO MY LIST . SO ANY OFFENCE TO YOU WAS NOT INTENDED. WITH REFERENCE TO YOUR REMARK ABOUT PEOPLE BEING ALLOWED TO EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS - I BELIEVE THAT IS ALL I AM DOING !
KINZEUK


Joined: 19th Nov '06
Posted: 17/11/07 10:10
To eddieb1 - ermmm, I didn't think I was riddiculing him to be honest. I was in the same boat as him for a long time and I can see certain similarities to my own self. I admit that one or two of the replies on here seem to be a little bit maybe 'insensitve' for want of a better term, but remember people are allowed to express their own opinions after all.

And I am sure that there are strict rules on people flaming or being vindictive etc to others on here!

:0)
EDDIEB1


Joined: 3rd Nov '07
Posted: 15/11/07 20:00
IT SEEMS TO ME MY FRIEND, THAT YOU HAVE ASKED FOR ADVICE , BUT ALL YOU ARE GETTING IS RIDICULE.- ( APART FROM RILLY SILLY G ) AND ( TINKERBELL ) . I AM AFRAID I CANNOT ADVISE YOU , AND WOULD NOT ATTEMPT TO , BUT WHAT I WILL SAY IS - A LONG TIME AGO I HEARD A SAYING THAT STAYED WITH ME EVER SINCE - " BE YOURSELF , NO ONE CAN EVER SAY YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG " IN MY EYES YOU ARE DOING THAT PERFECTLY ! I WONDER HOW MANY OF THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE WRITTEN IN CAN SAY THAT THEY HAVE STUCK BY THEIR BELIEF'S FOR THIRTY YEARS - PROBABLY NONE ! PERSONALLY WHAT COMES TO MIND ABOUT YOU IS ONE OF THE LINES FROM ' RUDYARD KIPLING' S POEMS ' WHICH IS -- " YOU ARE A MAN MY SON " YOU DON'T REALLY NEED ADVICE , YOU ARE ALREADY YOUR OWN MAN - SO STAY THAT WAY !
VICKIE33


Joined: 12th Sep '07
Posted: 12/11/07 16:43 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
I held out until my late 20's for my first time, hoping it would be special. BUT it wan't and the guy turned out to be a jerk, but from that I am much more relaxed when I go out now. So the best advice I can give you is what my friend gave me. Get your first time over and done with and don't regret what happens, Believe me it will make a difference to how you appear afterwards, as you are more at ease with yourself and others. Hope this helps.
JOANNE13


Joined: 11th Nov '07
Posted: 12/11/07 14:28 0 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
i think having sex with someone is kinda like buying new clothes, i wouldnt walk round naked just cos i hadnt found the perfect outfit id get in there and try a few on! you need to get a grip and enjoy yourself. before its too late and nothing works anymore
KINZEUK


Joined: 19th Nov '06
Posted: 10/11/07 15:47 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
Hey annon

Just thought I'd post my 2 cents and it's my first post on here too

I can fully empathise with your situation as I was in a similar positon as yourself. I was still a virgin at 27 when I met a woman off the net on a face profile site who saw my profile and liked what she saw and decided to msg me. The irony was, that I NEVER pulled when I was out wether I tried to or not, it just didn't happen. I had to in effect stay in and go on the net (I'd just got my pc then for my birthday) to find someone!

I'm not gonna say what perhaps some others have pointed out in that you need to stop looking for it and all that stuff coz I know how patronising if well intended that advice can be. And like you, I am more the sort of person who craves a girlfriend and to be in a relationship rather than just bed anyone who takes a shine to me (agai, only ever happens with women off the net for some reason lol)

I think if you ply your efforts to perhaps using the internet and genuine or relatively trustworthy dating/friends sites as this one seems to be so far, I think you will have more luck trying this option in your quest. Although I'm sure I don't need to tell you to keep your wits about you as although the one indisputable bonus of using the net to meet someone is that it can cut out a lot of the BS that can sometimes go with trying to chat up someone in public, you can also run the risk of meeting the wrong types of people who just use the internet to 'muck about' on.

One other quick thing before I go is that I've found that the more I have struck up conversations with women indeed people on the net and sometimes on the phone or even in a few cases in person, the more my confidence has grown to such that asking someone out in real life isn't such a daunting prospect as you might think it is. In fact, it's fair to say that women aren't that much different to men as much as the stereotype would have you believe; there are genuine ones out there that feel just the same as you and I and are too not so lucky when it comes to meeting or dating guys.

I could go on more but hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to say here so I'll wish you and anyone else reading this good luck!

VIM75


Joined: 2nd Feb '02
Posted: 20/10/07 09:35 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
Anon take a chill pill... and relax just go with the flow of life and it will happen. I must admit you need to make more of an effort! Like go out on the town? Look presentable? Have good things to say to a lady and build up a rapport with a female friend slowly and then it will happen? I mean i am single now but have been a few loving relationships win my life. Once you find the love factor it will happen. Get the getting laid bit out of your head.

You need to take things in your stride and put the effort in. I am not just saying this to you to get laid? Getting laid will come naturally and being a gentleman is where it starts. Please correct me if i am wrong ladies but you all love compliments from time to time and a hug and kiss for re-asurance. Just be a decent guy anon and as I say the rest will come.
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