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"My jealousy ruins relationships"
Dear Lynn,

I would describe myself as a good looking guy who has most things he needs to be happy - except I cannot handle relationships. I'm generally relaxed in my everyday life but in relationships I become jealous and paranoid. I always think my partner is cheating on me. This turns into anger and aggression. I'm not sure if I ever really loved any of them. I start thinking about them permanently and wind up myself with thoughts that she might do something with someone else. This destroys every relationship.

Anon, 36yr old male - Posted: 31/08/2007
Lynn says.. Page: 1 . 2 . Next
Posted: 05/09/07 16:49
Last edited: 06/09/07 10:02
You have done the right thing and confronted your fear which is the first step! I would think about sitting down with someone close to you that you trust and feel comfortable around, like a friend or family member and try and work out where all of this has stemmed from in the past and then make a plan of action to break the paranoia and move forward, lots of people go through the same thing as you daily so you are not on your own, and there are lots of ways you can overcome your difficulties. Some days, you may feel disheartened, but don't give up. You can become the person you want to be. Good luck!
Second Opinions..
C-PRINCESS


Joined: 28th Feb '07
Posted: 21/04/08 19:52 0 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
I have come across guys that sound just like you before,and find it strange thinking of yourself as being "good looking" but still feel paranoid,like what has been pointed out already,have you not been the one to cheat and you just thinking that what goes around comes around,and having most things in your life to be happy, you are totally in control in your every day life with these things but what you cant control is women,especially when your girlfriend isnt around you at the time and because of this it is making you feel the way you do?
KELLOU

Joined: 18th Apr '08
Posted: 18/04/08 18:25
Im currently in a relationship with a guy weve been dating a few months now. I love him so much and would do anything for him. Hes very jealous we fall out if i plan to go out and i only go out once a month. Weve spoke about it on a number of occasions but his demons seem to manage to rear there ugly head. Its like he has 2 personalities. im trying to be strong trying to stand by him but he has no one else who he will talk to hes not close to his family so hes allways bottled things up i guess this is a factor in his jealousy. Ive tried and tried with him i dont want to give up but im close to the edge now. Youve taken a good first step in admitting it i hope you get to the root of the problem
LITTY2260


Joined: 4th Mar '08
Posted: 17/04/08 14:55 2 out of 2 people found this comment helpful.
if you keep accusing her then in the end she will do it
ANGELVIV


Joined: 27th Mar '08
Posted: 02/04/08 12:06 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
I know this sounds very harsh, but maybe you shouldn't be looking to find a relationship with someone else until you have begun to confront your own demons? Nobody is perfect, everybody has their hang-ups, but some things like this can have a really damaging effect on the other person, through no fault of their own.... and that's just not fair!!
If you persist in being angry, resentful and mistrustful, then your other half will start to hide perfectly innocent things from you, for fear of upsetting you or being hurt by you, and that creates it's own vicious circle....at it's worst, this is in fact mental abuse!
Don't be afraid to stare this demon full in the face; when you begin to understand what's caused it, then you can take steps to leave it behind. Good Luck!
INCH8S

Joined: 23rd Dec '06
Posted: 30/03/08 15:06
good luck mate
XSARAHXHX

Joined: 21st Nov '07
Posted: 27/11/07 16:21
i was in a relationship witha jealous boyfriend i was with 3 actually and it didnt go well i got sexually mentally and physically abused which isnt fantastic! and when i tryed ending the realtionships because of this it got worse.

i hope you can sort it all out just remember not all us females are cheating liars theres just a few out there now.
xxx
SHELLS44

Joined: 28th Aug '06
Posted: 24/09/07 10:40
i think you should give yourself time.i no how you feel,cos i was in one.take life easy.just enjoy and dont think to much to be in a relationship.
ELLE9


Joined: 16th Sep '07
Posted: 20/09/07 08:19
You need to take time out and find yourself, something deep inside is causing you to feel this way. Until you build up your own self asteem and worth, you will carry on destroying everything.... If your honest deep inside your beleiving that women are cheating etc, because that is all your worth. Someone onece said t me "If you don't think highly of yourself, how can you expect anyone else to " ... you have got to beleive you are worth more than the relationship treatment your expecting... Good Luck
JULES-66


Joined: 19th Aug '07
Posted: 16/09/07 00:53 2 out of 3 people found this comment helpful.
Hi Anon. Look at your first sentence. You are a good looking guy and "have all you need to be happy", etc. You so obviously aren't though! Happiness is not how you look or how much you have babe. You may see your attractiveness on the outside, but you don't think that much of yourself on the inside, which is why you lack in self esteem. Don't go trying to find yourself, or like/love yourself, that rarely happens in the right way. Just accept yourself and realise that if someone is going to do the dirty on you, they would do it whether or not you thought they would. Trust yourself and the next person you meet that you care about. Don't let your monster scare them away, open up and love them how you want to be loved and you will receive it straight back and never have to doubt them, Trust is so important. More than anything. Jx
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