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"Why has he gone cold ?"
Dear Lynn,

I recently meet a man online, we met up, and we got on rather well, he talked about his family and home all night, his body language to me was good - facing me all night, then when I left he hugged in a hug that I have never had before he kissed me on my cheek and said we must do this again. Well we have spoken once or twice sinsce we meet up and he hasn't spoken to me in days not sure what this means please help.

 Anon, 29yr old female - Posted: 10/09/2007
Lynn says.. Page: 1 . 2 . Next
Posted: 31/10/07 17:22 | Last edited: 02/10/07 13:45
Hello. There are a few reasons why you may not have heard much since your date. Perhaps he has been very busy and hasn't had the time (unlikely), or maybe it was never really his intention to see you again but hasn't had the strength to tell you or finally could it be you come across as too keen! If I were you I wouldn't contact him, but leave the ball in his court. So far you haven't lost anything other than a bit of your time, so if nothing comes of it you can just put it down to experience. There are lots of people in this world who say things they dont mean, maybe he was one of them. Time will tell.
Second Opinions..
C-PRINCESS


Joined: 28th Feb '07
Posted: 21/02/08 21:04 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
I do tend to agree with some of the above,its not really easy telling someone "you"are not really the person they looking for,sometimes you feel you want to give that other person a second date while others know straight away you are not going to be suited,two people can be equally attractive and really nice people but the connection is not always genuinely there even if you think it is.I think this guy was just being polite and didnt want to hurt your feelings,and not making much contact after this date the two of you had together iam sorry to say sounds like,he would rather just leave it,but there will be a guy out there who the two of you will be suited to each other.good luck x
HOLLYM


Joined: 16th Mar '02
Posted: 19/12/07 15:01 | Last edited: 19/12/07 13:23 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
I'm afraid that I have to disagree with Lynn on this one! There is one possibility that no-one seems to have considered on here, too many responses are either male-bashing in nature or else bemoaning bad manners from either sex.
The questioner has cited a number of things that her date did and which indicated enthusiasm on his part. We do not know, however, of her reaction. Was it enthusiastic or could it have seemed cool?
It may just be that the fellow thinks that she is not very interested & so has been unwilling to push things. My advice would be to contact him and say (with a friendly smile in the voice) something like, 'Hey, I thought we were going to meet up again?'. If he is lacking enthusiasm after this, it really is time to move on.... Good luck x
MARISA2

Joined: 18th Dec '07
Posted: 18/12/07 12:45
well i had a weekend date some weeks ago,it went very well ,we continued to mail txt and call daily he was supposed to be coming down this wknd text and said he was on his way then another txt his phone had broke and the car had broken down and proberly would not get down this was an insult to my inteligence i have heard nothing since four days now i am now very hurt and disalusioned with this on line dating men.......
AMI3


Joined: 1st Oct '07
Posted: 17/12/07 12:19 0 out of 3 people found this comment helpful.
I think girls are quite shocky about men''s behaviour.
JARGON


Joined: 25th Sep '07
Posted: 13/12/07 11:40 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
Or it could be you just met two rats!!! Who havent got the guts to say, hey it was great but it didnt work.
RHUMBABA


Joined: 2nd Jun '05
Posted: 08/12/07 20:03
lol@sugarspice. Sincerely hope it's not the curse!! Anyway..best not generalise, there are ok people and not so ok people (male/female immaterial) Internet dating can be difficult or can be the easiest thing in the world. The trick is..try and find out what are the potential victim's (lol) expectation and be sure they match your own. Never expect too much and try to spend a nice time. Let's face it, there will always be the date which goes wrong. I fancy you but you don't fancy me sort of situation. Best thing is...move on straight away and never expect too much. I've heard terror tales from male friends as well about being used, ignored, etc after a first date so let's keep it real.
SUGARSPICE30


Joined: 3rd Jul '07
Posted: 04/12/07 22:28 2 out of 2 people found this comment helpful.
I have had a date with two different men but afterwards when I had no contact or I contacted them, one said a relative had been in a car accident and the other had a bereavement in the family. Now call me cynical, but I never heard from them again which only leaves me to believe they are chickens or I am carrying a curse in which after dating someone, something awful happens to them or their family - which one do you think it is girls?!!
ALEXA3


Joined: 24th Aug '06
Posted: 26/11/07 00:15 2 out of 2 people found this comment helpful.
Hi,

I must admit that men are simply cowards when it comes to admitting their failure or just to say 'sorry, I am not interested in you'... Last year I met a very interesting guy, who was a very busy musician and writer. We somehow managed to meet a few times, however he had this dreadful habit of informing me via e-mail that for example 'the date was off because he caught the cold'... And one day just before we met for a date I received an e-mail saying 'sorry, you'd be better off with somebody else'.... Men, please behave like men not like chicken!

Still waiting for my perfect men, nearly disillusioned

Alexandra
LOSTINESSEX


Joined: 11th Jun '07
Posted: 09/11/07 18:34 1 out of 1 people found this comment helpful.
You have all written as though the first 5 seconds dont mean a thing. Now come gilrs be honest. He walks through the door and you make an instant judgement. So do we. We might spend the rest of the night trying to be polite or overcome that nagging doubt. We might even have a few bites of the cherry before it kicks in but if the spark's not there eventually he and or you will say "Sorry this is not for me" And how hard is that to say face to face. Do I look for a good slap, NO. I am afraid one of the issues for the on line community is the ability to just turn off with no consequence. If we carry this though to real life people get hurt. Plenty more to try. good Luck
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