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Sorry but I haven't been in the right frame of mind to write a diary entry until now and today I found out exactly what being a good friend is all about.

I finally cracked this week and have been in the worse place of my life. I couldn't even put an outfit together in order for me to get to work. Once at work I just sat looking at my computer wondering what I was supposed to do.

I never take time off work for no reason but I could not make it into work today. My head felt like it was going to explode so I didn't go in and I couldn't even phone the office to say why as I felt like I was playing truant.

The good friend is in the form of Tungsten. When he found out I was in a bad place decided he was coming to see me and took me and mutt for a long walk and then we had lunch. We talked for hours and by the time he left me, I was feeling so much better and ready to face my responsibilities once more with renewed energy.

That was such a lovely gesture and I hope he realises how much I appreciated what he did, I felt very special. Thank you so much.

People on this site are so special, caring and fun loving. This site has been my saviour and I am going to miss you all so much but you will all be in my thoughts and I will be thinking of you at party time, have loads of fun.

Take care all. Lots of love Linda xxx

Finally got some good news today. Have managed to get 6wks respite for mum whilst I go to New Zealand, what a relief. Getting her there is the problem. Not looking forward to that bit.

At least now I can pack with a bit more enthusiasm. Up until now I haven't felt much like going but knowing she is going to be looked after and I don't have to worry about her is just such a weight off my shoulders.

The dementia has really taken hold and she is such a frail freightened little thing and there is nothing I can say or do to make it better.

I am just hoping that she enjoys being around lots of people and doing things that will occupy her a bit more. Who knows she may love it so much she will want to stay..Mmmm, yeah dream on Linda, but that would be the icing on the cake.

Oh dear, I've upset my ex husband. He is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and big mouth here just couldn't keep a sock in it.

He has written 3 books, all published and is on his 4th. He also has two younger daughters and is always busy rushing them to some swimming/gym/horse riding thing which I know upsets my daughter as she didn't get those sort of things because of our divorce.

He loves all his three girls equally and tries very hard to be in touch with Claire in New Zealand as often as he can. She will write a lengthy email to him on a regular basis and his reply is always a 'one liner' and signs it off 'love D'.

Big mouth here couldn't just ignore it could she. I know it upsets Claire and if she is upset so am I, so when he sent his last 'one liner' to her, I replied (he always copies me in but I don't think he will anymore) saying, 'you can write a f*cking novel but you can't write a lengthy email to your own daughter who loves and misses you like mad'.

Behind the scenes all hell broke loose, he got very upset thinking that Claire had been on to me asking why dad couldn't write more to her and poor her hadn't got a clue it was her interferring mother. He phoned her saying he was sorry if he had let her down and she had the job of reasuring him that she was ok and that she did understand.

To say that I got the telling off of my life from my daughter really is an understatment and I got told in no uncertain terms that I had to apologise to dad, which I really don't have a problem with except I am still angry with him about it.

My ex and I never have angry words even our divorce was the most amicable divorce in history but this has got to me and I felt I had to say something, probably not the most diplomatic thing I've ever done but can any of you understand why I am so upset about it or am I just over reacting or should I just have minded my own business? To me it smacks of 'I haven't got time for you' or is that my interpretation?

Hello all, I've been too knackered to think about writing a diary entry. Miss whirl wind boss doesn't keep still. I have managed to do all her travelling up to 8th Dec and had to stop as I am sure at one point I have booked myself on a flight to outer mongolia.

I have also had to do all her travelling/hotels for the time I am in New Zealand and I believe that New Zealand is the only place that she hasn't got meetings booked.

Plus I'm getting really upset about missing the party, which is a bit selfish of me really seeing as I will be sunning myself in Fiji at the time but I feel really left out. I want to be able to see Sue's slutty red shoes and watch Honey dribbling over the men and Hem make a prat of himself over some drop dead gorgious bird. I want lots of pictures taken please so I can see what I missed.

Thanks.....xxx

The builders, trying to make up for their huge mistake on Saturday, said they would get me a new dog flap for my now new back door.

Came home tonight to what can only be described as a mouse trap and my poor little mutt howling her head off in the pouring rain because she couldn't get back in. Its not rocket science.

If that wasn't bad enough, where they had piled up the rubbish in the garden waiting for a skip (which has taken two weeks) my grass in now dead. The garden looks like waste land and because I haven't been able to get out there and clean up after mutt, its loaded with pooh.

So once again I went mental at them, so now they have the job of sorting out my garden. We are not talking about a small two bit company, they are huge but not a brain cell amongst them. Shame.